I’m a cheerful thirty something brand spanking new Mum, married to the love of my life & lucky to have a life full of amazing family & beautiful friends.

The past three-ish years have been so up & down. I have a beautiful life. I am thankful for all I have. I have a truely solid, safe environment  of caring people around me but sometimes I still find it so difficult to talk to them. Most of my nearest & dearest don’t know half of what I am about to write in a blog for the world to see, but for some reason, strangers reading this & possibly getting a smile or finding one thing that helps them with something they are going through in this tricky life, is helping me.

Plus writing this – the beginner I am, is daunting (so please don’t judge) & satisfying to write down all these thoughts that run through my sleep deprived head. The rollercoaster includes love, loss, life, breakdowns & a near death experience. Hope you enjoy reading.

It all started a few years ago…

We’d got married. The big day. The big doo. The big dress. Everything I could dream of & more, I have married my best friend, my lover, my everything. We start married life in the best way possible. I couldn’t ask for more. We’d been together for years, it is meant to be, you know the story. Then it starts, a possible 24 hours after the rings on our fingers the question – so when’s the pitter patter of tiny feet to appear? Erm we’ve just about consummated the marriage in a drunken fun fumble so give us a chance ey! We should have known better since we’d been batting the ‘when you making an honest woman’ back at people for years before we got engaged. We were honest. We wanted a family. A little teeny baby of our own. Yes please & We were excited to start. And so we did (not there & then obvs but we started).